My Story
What's my story?  It's pretty simple.  I'm not a very engaged parent.  Our first child graduated from XXX a few years ago, but I didn't have much contact with the school during those four years.  I went to back to school night, usually.  Met a teacher or two.  Never met the principal or an administrator that I recall.  For better or worse, I certainly wasn't an active parent.  Kid number one struggled a lot academically, had some fairly serious health and stress issues, and dropped out of the YYY  program -- ended up graduating in the general program. 

During those four years, my overall impression of the school was fairly positive.  On several occasions, my wife or I received calls from the school from concerned teachers, which we greatly appreciated.  In the last months before graduation, a counselor, Mr. XXX was very helpful and flexible in helping make sure all the requirements were met.

However, I am concerned that my second child has been treated very badly by the school's administrators.  This treatment has seemed to me to be very arbitrary and almost hateful.  It has seemed more like a deliberate effort to humiliate than an effort to steer the child in the right direction.  It has certainly not been in the student's best interest.

In fact, this treatment has greatly damaged my efforts to persuade my kid put up with the BS and stay in school.  My wife and I didn't get involved at first.  We just figured that the punishments seemed crazy and counterproductive, but there probably wouldn't be much we could do.  So we just stayed away and figured things would work out if we just let the kid take care of it. 

However, the situation came to a head a week before graduation when we got a gleeful call from an administrator saying that our child had failed a half-credit class.  We had little prior indication this would be a concern.  In fact, the teacher had assured our child in mid-May that she had done sufficient make-up work and would pass the class.

I have diaried the situation here on a left-leaning blog (which is frequented by teachers).  Got a lot of good advice, all of which -- either supportive or dismissive of my concerns -- I appreciate very much.

Throughout this episode, I've been naive, I think.  I had no idea the school would be so difficult to deal with.  I worry about possible discrimination, although my gut instinct is that incompetence and ignorance and "not really giving a damn" are far more common explanations for bureaucratic problems than conspiracy or a deliberate desire to be hurtful.  I'm wondering if teachers, other parents, and student have experiences that are similar.  This could help me figure out if this situation with kid number two is just a fluke, or part of a larger pattern.

The irony is that the second child at XXX needs far less counseling or attention, and has tried to stay beneath the school's radar.  She's an indifferent student and melts down easily when provoked, but she has a solid career plan, a scholarship to a very prestigious university, and is self-supporting.  I can't figure out why the school is so keen to hassle her.

I certainly understand that teachers and administrators are busy and have a difficult time these days.  I know they would rather not have to deal with student that have problems or need special considerations.

That's why I'm trying to figure out whether other parents, students, teachers, and administrators have had problems with the school's administrative processes and personalities.  If the school no longer cares about the well-being of all the students, that is a huge concern for me, and for our community..